There are moments in one’s life when one’s mood expresses a certain need.
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I don’t know whether it was the fact that mercury had finally stopped being in retrograde — or whether the full moon had finally done its worst — but I really wanted to see something that would give my life a new meaning.
Or, at least, something that would make me reconsider the meaning of technology.
So I drifted to the repository of all things material, Amazon, to see what it could offer.
Deliberately and specifically, I searched for “weird tech gadgets.”
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This has been my marginal penchant of late, ever since I began living with a robot cat.
What could Amazon offer to beat that? How, indeed, would Amazon’s vast inner intelligence define “weird”?
I was uplifted to see that there were 2,000 results. Clearly, I was about to descend into a vortex of outré splendor.
You call this weird?
But then I opened my eyes. First on offer was the, oh, xsainlao Newtons Kinetic Art Perpetual Motion Machine, Desktop Decoration Toys, Science Physics Gadgets, Non-Stop Rolling Ball Toys, Balance Stress Relief Creative Gifts for Friends and Family.
This wasn’t weird at all. This was the sort of thing executives used to put on their desks. When they had desks. In the 1980s.
Well, I suppose some of the product description was weird. Sample: “All parts of this product are purely handmade, and you need to assemble them yourself when you buy them back. Therefore, you need to have the basis for making handmade products.”
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The basis? You mean hands?
Next on the weird Amazon results — or, rather, the Amazon weird results — was the Novium Hoverpen 2.0 – Futuristic Luxury Pen Made With Aerospace Alloys, Unique Aesthetic, Free Spinning Executive Pen, Cool Gadgets, Birthday Gifts for Men & …….